Relax, Don't Do It!

Frankie Goes to Hollywood had it right when he admonished us to Relax – Don’t Do It! Many of us (me included) have a really difficult time relaxing, letting go, meditating. The one refrain from my brain and many others is it’s so boring… why do I have to???

Low grade anxiety and stress are addictive, the more you do it, the more you want it. And the things that we do to get into this state are the opposite of boring. We wait for the very last minute to get ready for something, prepare for work, a speech, PTA meeting…. Not only do we now feel a heightened sense of concentration from our fear of failure, but we’re also distracted by feelings of shame and guilt for procrastinating. We deal with this by guzzling down caffeine and medications to help us meet that deadline and/or perform that miracle. So not only is our body manufacturing hormones and chemicals, but we’re also adding to the soup.

The benefits of relaxation as per this study on Relaxation and the Healing Process show perceived improvements in symptoms in the range of 70-80% after the use of relaxation techniques. So not only does the Parasympathetic or “Relax and Repair” mode help us feel better, but it also actually allows our body to heal itself.

What if my life is stressful?

Sometimes stress is unavoidable, our bodies are designed to handle this after all, but when this stress becomes the baseline of how we start our day that’s when it becomes chronic. Our (autonomic) nervous system consists of involuntary response mechanisms that are our “fight or flight response” (sympathetic nervous system) or the “rest and repair response” (parasympathetic nervous system).

“Fight or flight” gets triggered by a legitimate and/or perceived threat telling our adrenal glands to release the hormones adrenaline and cortisol. Cortisol, our primary stress hormone, curbs any non-essential bodily systems such as digestion, immunity, reproduction, and growth. It also engages with our brain, controlling mood, will, and fear. We feel this fear in the pit of our stomachs where we now know brain cells reside.

Once the threat has passed our body returns to normal but when we are constantly perceiving a low-grade stress that “fight or flight” response stays engaged. Chronic stress sets off changes in our bodies and opens us up to a whole host of “dis-eases” of both body and mind; anxiety, depression, headache, tension, digestion, and requisite weight gain, lowered immune system, circulation issues, memory/retention, sleep disorders, etc.

Effects of “Fight or Flight” Response	Effects of “Rest & Repair Response”
Adrenal glands release hormones adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormone)	No involvement of adrenal glands, adrenaline/cortisol levels drop
Adrenaline increases heart rate	Heart rate slows
Blood pressure increases	Blood pressure drops
Cortisol triggers release of glucose for quick energy, inhibits insulin secretion	Reduced glucose secretion, stimulates insulin secretion
Decrease stomach movement and secretions	Increases stomach movement and secretions
Constrict bronchial tubes in lungs – breathing quickens	Bronchial tubes dilate – breathing deepens
Increase in sweating, pupils dilate	Decreased sweating, pupils constrict
Decrease urinary output	Increased urinary output

How do we deal with stress then?

It’s our response to stress that makes the difference. So how do we start? The first step is just becoming aware, If you find yourself constantly clenching your jaw, hunching forwards, unable to control your temper, getting sick often, dealing with a whole host of symptoms mentioned above maybe this is a signal that it’s time to put together your Relaxation Practice encouraging “Rest & Repair”.

Relaxation Practice:

The benefits of relaxation as per this study on Relaxation and the Healing Process show perceived improvements in symptoms in the range of 70-80% after the use of relaxation techniques. So not only does the Parasympathetic or “Relax and Repair” mode help us feel better, but it also actually allows our body to heal itself. So, whatever your Relaxation Journey consists of – see list of suggestions below – know that “boring” might be a sign that you’re going in the right direction. When I started running, my running guide told me that the first 10-15 minutes of the run are the hardest because of the sheer boredom and negative thought loop but once you get past it you start to relax and enjoy the running. He was right. There’s nothing better than being “in the flow”. So start your practice with things that are joyful and you can eventually mix in things that may be personally challenging – like meditation or exercise. This is YOUR practice and should be fun and engaging.

And as Frankie says – “Relax”.

Relaxation Tips and Techniques:

• Find your joy – do things that light you up, play, cosplay, sunbathe, dress up your pet, forest bathe, etc.

• Therapies – therapies such as Reflexology, Sound Healing, Massage, Acupuncture, Physiotherapy, etc. can all bring us into a Parasympathetic Response state.

• ​Be in the moment through activity – people often do activities such as surfing, paragliding, rock balancing, sports, etc. that rely on undivided focus and single-minded concentration.

• ​Help others – volunteering gives us the warm and fuzzies.

• ​Meditate – join a class, be in nature, focus on a candle flame, yoga, sound baths.

• ​Journal – writing can be a release for many people, write down unproductive feelings and then have a ritual burning of the letters to let those feelings go.

• Find your tribe – be around like-minded people to help you become more relaxed.

• ​Build a mental health team – find a coach, therapist, psychiatrist, guru, or best friend.

• ​Diet – eliminate stimulants, incorporate those foods we know are good for us.

• Exercise – calming or stimulating, choose the exercise that suits you best.